Ask a Question    TrixiePixieGraphics.com™    FakeNewspapers.com™    Channel54News.com™     Gag Gifts & Art, More Fun than a Halter-Top Full of Ferrets Giant Checks - Fake Pregnancy Tests - Fake DNA/Paternity Tests - Fake Newspapers - FBI Wanted Posters Fake Certificates - Custom Gift Wrapping Paper - Huge Banners - Old West Wanted Posters - Crossword Puzzles Book Binding - Personalized Books - Fake Obituaries - Fake Prescriptions - Fake Ultrasounds - KubeKompanion TrixiePixieGraphics™      Store Rating    About Shipping    View Cart/Checkout This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. TrixiePix™, Trixiepixie™, TrixiePixel™, FakeNewspapers™, AlienAnalProbe™, Channel54News™ are Trademarks of TrixiePixGraphics™. Copyright © 1982 - 2008 TrixiePixGraphics™. All Rights Reserved

About Shipping:
Choose the appropriate option during checkout

NOTE: Orders shipped via USPS will not usually show current tracking data until one or several days AFTER your order arrives (Thanks, USPS!)

RUSH: (Domestic)
If you choose "RUSH" your order will usually be manufactured and shipped within 24 hours and will ship out by Overnight. This may still take approximately 2-3 days, depending on what time of day the order actually leaves the shop, holidays, weekends, etc. CAVEAT: Due to the reprehensibly irresponsible actions and non-existent work-ethics of virtually ALL carriers, we do not guarantee ANY specific timelines for delivery. In order of reliability, from best to worst, we have found the following: USPS, FED-EX, UPS, DHL. USPS loses or destroys roughly one in every 300 shipments; UPS was losing or destroying roughly one in every 40 shipments; for Fed-Ex, it was roughly one in every 100; for DHL it was roughly one out of every 20 shipments. Shipping in the U.S. has devolved to be something akin to shipping in any other Third World country. We can only use the most reliable carrier and pray.

Any Other Method: (Domestic)
If you choose any other mode, your order will usually be manufactured within 72 hours and shipped by regular ground methods, arriving, generally, in 3-7 days. CAVEAT: Due to the reprehensibly irresponsible actions and non-existent work-ethics of virtually ALL carriers, we do not guarantee ANY specific timelines for delivery. In order of reliability, from best to worst, we have found the following: USPS, FED-EX, UPS, DHL. USPS loses or destroys roughly one in every 300 shipments; UPS was losing or destroying roughly one in every 40 shipments; for Fed-Ex, it was roughly one in every 100; for DHL it was roughly one out of every 20 shipments. Shipping in the U.S. has devolved to be something akin to shipping in any other Third World country. We can only use the most reliable carrier and pray.

International:
International shipping is back! One caveat for International customers, however: We're unable to buy insurance on shipments to certain countries. Usually these are obscure places like Upper French Mongolia or Lower Sudanese Sankukuspan, and NIGERIA (don't even TRY to order from Nigeria) but in those cases we may (probably will) cancel the order. Mainstream destinations like Great Britain, Australia, Hong Kong, Scandinavia, Canada, etc. etc., are no trouble whatsoever. We will ONLY ship to the verified card address and a delivery signature with ID is required. Credit card fraud is prosecuted Internationally just as it is in the US. Once you're on the credit card fraudster list, even if you haven't been prosecuted, you may be denied entry into the US even twenty years from now. It simply isn't worth it for some $17 gag item -- but then crooks aren't known for being the brightest bulbs in the string. WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CANCEL CERTAIN INTERNATIONAL ORDERS AT OUR DISCRETION. CAVEAT: Due to the reprehensibly irresponsible actions and non-existent work-ethics of virtually ALL carriers, we do not guarantee ANY specific timelines for delivery. In order of reliability, from best to worst, we have found the following: USPS, FED-EX, UPS, DHL. USPS loses or destroys roughly one in every 300 shipments; UPS was losing or destroying roughly one in every 40 shipments; for Fed-Ex, it was roughly one in every 100; for DHL it was roughly one out of every 20 shipments. Shipping in the U.S. has devolved to be something akin to shipping in any other Third World country. We can only use the most reliable carrier and pray.

Christmas 2012 :
Christmas in 2012 falls on a Tuesday. Orders placed during the year 2012 are "iffy" at best. Since the Mayan calendar (and others) stops at December 21st, 2012 (a Friday -- thank God at least for that), we figure we're all toast and there will be no Christmas at all in 2012. A huge meteor strike? Angry aliens? Bird flu? We're not sure. But we're betting it won't be pretty or fun, and we suggest ordering large quantities of hard booze instead of a fake newspaper for Christmas of 2012.

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Our #1 most-asked question is: "How soon can I get my order?"

We cannot possibly say this enough times:

Please order early enough that if something happens to your order enroute, there will be time to reprint and re-ship it before your deadline.

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All shipping is via the carrier of our choice and may change from order to order. As of 2007 we are tending to use USPS mostly, with Fed-Ex for certain special cases, and UPS not at all, ever, under any circumstances. Why can't we just slip your order in an envelope and ship it for thirty seven cents? We'd love to! Unfortunately, there are so many scammers and rip-off artists on the Internet these days that we must ship via methods that allow for tracking and insurance.

We no longer offer "Two-Day" or "Three-Day" service because as often as not, the carrier can't deliver on time anyway. Sure they "guarantee" their delivery times. But just try to collect on their guarantee. They have a million loopholes, and we can't afford the time to fight with them.

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Unclaimed Orders

We receive a fairly large number of returned orders marked "undeliverable" or "unclaimed". These are held for 30 days, then discarded, unopened. If you haven't received your order please check the tracking system to see if it has been returned to us. If so, you may reclaim it simply by paying for shipping back to you at a valid address.

Items will be returned to us if unclaimed.

Orders are often returned to us due to insufficient address info, or marked "unclaimed".

To have an order re-shipped, please click here

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For more information about "missing" orders click here

And don't miss our UPS SUCKS page

Fake Magazines may take up to five or six days to process.
They are more labor-intensive than other products.

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